Three Years, Cancer Free

He's older now; five and a half. And that means he asks more questions about procedures. So while Quinn and I are just happy that IVs and sedation are the things we worry about instead of life and death, Teague is just now starting to question what's happening. So this MRI, even though we expected good news, was one of the harder ones for me as a mother. I got Teague up early, before six. As soon as he was awake, he declared, "I am not going to be scared of this thing today." Mustering bravery to hide his nerves. And that is how he handled it. Stoic-like. Not even a twitch as the IV went in, but he did say, "Ow, ow!" and that was all. He was also nervous to be sedated. He asked questions about the sleepy meds. The MRI tech picked up on his nerves and took him into the room to show him the machine and what it does. He put a cylinder of cleaning wipes in the headrest to show Teague where his head would go, and did a little MRI on the wipes. I loved the effort, but Teague hung back, not amused. As he got the meds, instead of collapsing into me, he swayed and said, "Whoa!" a few times. So for me, there were tears today. It's just not OK when your kid is scared. The good thing about today was that there was a radiologist readily available, and he read the scan immediately. He came to the recovery room before Teague was even awake and told us that all was well. Again, tears from a grateful mother. I was overcome with a mix of emotions: gratitude, relief, and all those old feelings from when he was sick, blended together. And the new bit of wisdom from today about what else radiation kills besides cancer: bone marrow. We learned that the radiated areas of Teague's skull don't have red marrow anymore, at least not as much as he should have at his age. His is more like an older person's, with fat in there. It's always kind of a bummer to discover yet another thing they damaged, but it also always brings more reasons to thank my Father in Heaven. If they have to tell me what's damaged, it's not a big enough deal to worry about in my daily life. Teague has been protected, and he is a normal, healthy kid.