I finally got a CD with Teague's diagnosis MRI images on it. This one is a good view of the former tumor. Look down at the base of his brain, right on the brain stem. It's shaped kind of like a jelly bean. But bigger. And scarier.
I guess the cerebellum looks like a jelly bean, too. OK, so the cerebellum curves outward to the right of the image, and the tumor is at the base of that. They kind of blend together in this image.
Luckily in actuality, they didn't blend together. Dr. Kestle said that when he pushed the lobes of Teague's cerebellum apart, they slid right off the surface of the tumor. The tumor was connected to the brain stem, and it was starting to spill over one side of it, but had not invaded it, and it had not wrapped around it. I think we found it just in time.
It's a reminder for me today of all I have to be grateful for. I don't know why we are blessed in this way. I know I shouldn't question it but should just be thankful. I just have our new rad friends, Annette and Travis, on my mind. Their little three-year-old Maryn's tumor is diffused within her brain stem and is inoperable.
Annette loves her child every bit as much as I love mine. We have the same mommy instincts, the same fears, the same drive to give our very lives for our children, and the same hope that it will be enough.
There's nothing special about me that I deserve for my child to have a good prognosis. I know the Lord is wise and can see into eternity, and all I can see is what's in front of me. I don't know what he has in store for Maryn or for Teague. I just know what it looks like right now. Annette is living all of my fears. My heart breaks, and I pray every day for her and for Maryn.
Sometimes I read your blog and I am speechless. I can't express the pain I feel for you...and the gratitude I feel with you. And I know my feelings are nothing compared to what you are feeling. You do such a good job documenting this experience with such raw and honest emotion. Sometimes all I can do is wipe the tears away after reading it and send another prayer your way. Just know you are loved and we are willing to help in any way.
ReplyDeleteThis entry really touched me, but is a fantastic reminder that we cannot question the will of God. You are living the ultimate test of faith, as is your sweet friend. My heart really goes out to her.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I have missed all this! Sandy Hewlett was here visiting today and asked how your little boy was doing. I really didn't know what she was asking and it didn't register until after she had already left. That is why I went to your FB to see. OMH! I am so mad I didn't know. I could have been praying all this time for you guys too. Please know that you are in our prayers NOW. We want to see you guys soon after we are settled down in Utah so KEEP IN TOUCH! Lots of love! Us Bodens
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